A guide to Happiness

This post comes from zen habits as “the only guide to happiness you will ever need.” 

For some of us, the ultimate goal in life is happiness.

Whether we see fulfillment in our work, contentment in our relationships, passion in our hobbies … we strive to find happiness.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” - Aristotle

And yet, this search for happiness can be a lifelong search, especially if we look at happiness as something that will come once we achieve certain goals — a nice home, a perfect spouse, the ultimate promotion … and when we get these goals, instead of being happy, we often are looking forward to being happy when we meet our next goals.

Happiness shouldn’t be something that happens to us in the future, maybe someday, if things go well. Happiness should be here and now, who we are now, with the people we’re with now, doing the things we’re doing now. And if we’re not with people who make us happy, and doing things that make us happy … then we should take action to make that happen.

That’s the simple formula for happiness. Take action to do the things that make you happy, with the people who make you happy, and to be happy with the person you are now. (Disclaimer: this probably doesn’t apply, of course, to those who are clinically depressed or who have other similar medical conditions which I am not qualified to discuss.)

Don’t wait for happiness.  Seize it.

“If you want to be happy, be.” - Leo Tolstoy

Here’s how — a list of action you can take today to seize that happiness. You don’t have to do these all at once, but you should do most (if not all) of them eventually, and sooner rather than later. Pick one or two and start today.

1. Be present. Don’t think about how great things will be in the future. Don’t dwell on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the here and now, and experience life as it’s happening, and appreciate the world for the beauty that it is, right now. Practice makes perfect with this crucial skill.
2. Connect with others. In my experience, very few things can achieve happiness as well as connecting with other human beings, cultivating relationships, bonding with others. Some tips on doing this.
3. Spend time with those you love. This might seem almost the same as the item above, and in reality it’s an extension of the same concept, a more specific application. Spending time with the people you love is extremely important to happiness … and yet it’s incredible how often we do just the opposite, and spend time alone, or disconnected from those we love, or spend time with people we don’t much like. Make it a priority to schedule time with the people you love. Make that your most important item of the day. For myself, I have a time when I cut off work, and the rest of the day is for my family. Weekends are exclusively for my family. And by setting aside this sacred time, I ensure my happiness by letting nothing come between me and the people I love most.
4. Do the things you love. What do you love doing most? Figure out the 4-5 things you love doing most in life, the things that make you happiest, and make those the foundation of your day, every day. Eliminate as much of the rest as possible. For me, the things I love doing are: spending time with my family, writing, reading, and running. I do those things every day, and very little else. It may take awhile to get your life down to your essentials like I have (it took me a few years of careful elimination and rescheduling and saying “no” to requests that aren’t on my short list), but it’s worth the effort.
5. Focus on the good things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends largely on which aspects you focus on. Did you lose today’s softball game? At least you got to spend time with friends doing something fun. Did you sprain your ankle running? Well, your body probably needed a week’s rest anyway, as you were running too much! Did your baby get sick? Well, at least it’s only a flu virus and nothing life-threatening … and at least you have a wonderful baby to nurse to health! You can see my point — almost everything has a positive side, and focusing on the positives make all the difference. My Auntie Kerry died last week (as you know), and I’m still grieving, but 1) I’m happy I spent time with her before her death; 2) her death has brought our family closer together; 3) her suffering has ended; and 4) it reminded me to spend more time with the people I love while they’re still alive.
6. Do work you love. An extension, of course, of doing the things you love, but applied to work. Are you already doing the work you love? Then you’re one of the lucky ones, and you should appreciate how lucky you are. If you aren’t doing the work you love, you should make it a priority to try to find work you’re passionate about, and to steer your career in that direction. Take myself for example: I was doing work that I was good at (just last year), but that I wasn’t passionate about. I was passionate about writing, and so I pursued blogging … and with a year of hard work, was able to quit my day job and blog full time. I’m so much happier these days!
7. Lose yourself in your work. Once you’ve found work you love, the key is to lose yourself in it … clear away all distractions, find an interesting and challenging task, and just pour all your energy and focus into that task. With practice, you’ll forget about the outside world. There are few work-related joys that equal this feeling. Read more.
8. Help others. Is there any better feeling than helping a fellow human being? There aren’t many. And it’s not too hard — here are 25 ways.
9. Find time for peace. With the hectic pace of life these days, it’s hard to find a moment of peace. But if you can make time for solitude and quiet, it can be one of the happiest parts of your day. Here’s how.
10. Notice the small things. Instead of waiting for the big things to happen — marriage, kids, house, nice car, big promotion, winning the lottery — find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning hours, or the delicious and simple taste of berries, or the pleasure of reading a book with your child, or taking a walk with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures, throughout your day, makes a huge difference.
11. Develop compassion. Compassion is developing a sense of shared suffering with others … and taking steps to alleviate the suffering of others. I think too often we forget about the suffering of others while focusing on our own suffering, and if we learned to share the suffering of others, our suffering would seem insignificant as a result. Compassion is an extremely valuable skill to learn, and you get better with practice. Here’s how.
12. Be grateful. Learning to be grateful for what’s in our lives, for the people who have enriched our lives, goes a long way toward happiness. It helps us to appreciate what we have and what we have received, and the people who have helped us. Read more.
13. Become a lifelong learner. I find an inordinate amount of pleasure in reading, in learning about new things, in enriching my knowledge as I get older. I think spending time reading some of the classics, as well as passionately pursuing new interests, is energy well invested. Try to do a little of it every day, and see if it doesn’t make you happier.
14. Simplify your life. This is really about identifying the things you love (see above) and then eliminating everything else as much as possible. By simplifying your life in this way, you create time for your happiness, and you reduce the stress and chaos in your life. In my experience, living a very simple life is also a pleasure in itself.
15. Slow down. Similar to simplifying, slowing down is just a matter of reminding yourself that there’s no need to rush through life. Schedule less things on your calendar, and more space between things. Learn to eat slower, drive slower, walk slower (unless you’re doing it for exercise). Going slowly helps to reduce stress, and improve the pleasure of doing things, and keeps you in the present moment.
16. Exercise. I’ve written about the pleasures of exercise many times. It can be hard to start an exercise program (here’s how) but once you get going, it relieves stress and can really give you a good feeling. I feel joyful every time I go out for a run!
17. Meditate. You don’t need to join a Zendo or get a mat or learn any lotus positions, but the simplest form of meditation can really help you to be present and to get out of the worrying part of your head. You can do it right now: close your eyes and simply try to focus on your breathing as long as possible. Pay attention to the breath as it comes into your body, and then as it goes out. When you feel your mind start to wander, don’t fret, but just simply acknowledge the other thoughts, and then return to your breathing. Do this a little each day and you’ll get better at it.
18. Learn to accept. One of the challenges for people like me — people who want to improve themselves and change the world — is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to learn to accept, and to love, the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to try to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. I’m not saying you should accept cruelty and injustice, but learn to love things when they are less than “perfect”.
19. Spend time in nature. Go outside and take a walk each day, or take the time to watch a sunset or sunrise. Or find a body of water — the ocean, a lake, a river, a pond — and spend time taking a look at it, contemplating it. If you’re lucky enough to live near some woods, or a mountain, or a canyon, go hiking. Time in nature is time invested in your happiness.
20. Find the miracles in life. I absolutely believe in miracles, and believe that they are all around us, every day. My children are all miracles. The kindnesses of strangers are miracles. The life growing all around us is a miracle. Find those miracles in your life, and enjoy the majesty of them.

Let it be

Acceptance is what it was. Just letting it be. Not trying to change anything.

Sit in a comfortable position, eyes closed, preferably with the back upright and unsupported. Relax and take note of body sensations, sounds and moods. Notice them without judgment. Let the mind settle into the rhythm of breathing. If it wanders (and it will), gently redirect attention to the breath. Stay with it for at least 10 minutes.

Lotus Therapy

better genes with diet & exercise

(Reuters) Comprehensive lifestyle changes including a better diet and more exercise can lead not only to a better physique, but also to swift and dramatic changes at a genetic level, US researchers said. The researchers tracked 30 men with low-risk prostate cancer, who decided against conventional medical treatment such as surgery and radiation or hormone therapy. The men underwent three months of major lifestyle changes, including eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes and soy products, moderate exercise such as walking for half an hour a day, and an hour of daily stress management such as meditation. As expected, they lost weight, lowered their blood pressure and saw other health improvements. But the researchers found more profound changes when they compared prostate biopsies taken before and after the lifestyle changes. After the three months, the men had changes in activity in about 500 genes – including 48 that were turned on and 453 genes that were turned off. The activity of disease-preventing genes increased.

Advise from Jack

I keep finding gems on Youtube of wisodm from Jack Lalanne.  It is amazing to me how true today the things he talks about are as they were 40 years ago.  So I thought that what I would do is post a weekly clip from Jack.  Advise From Jack.

What can I eat during a detoxification program?

What can I eat during a detoxification program?

A real professional, effective detoxification program will not ask you to make any dramatic lifestyle and dietary changes. It will work regardless. Healthier food and lifestyle choices are generally made on a subconscious level. Once the body begins to eliminate toxins, it will naturally start craving foods that will nourish it at an optimum level. That said, there are certainly many things you can do to maximize the benefits of the cleanse you’re on from day one, and certain foods will help maintain the benefits of the cleanse for much longer.

Foods (and things) to avoid while cleansing

First let’s discuss some of the foods and other factors that will contribute to a toxic body and may also hamper or slow down the detoxification process. If you are not able to completely eliminate these things from your life while cleansing, please try to limit them as much as possible.

Milk and Dairy Products

The dairy food issue is a very controversial one, indeed.  Many believe that dairy is not fit for human consumption and numerous research studies have documented its ill effects on our health. On the other side of the coin, dairy farming is a huge, multi-billion dollar government-subsidized industry whose tremendous advertising campaigns have us believing that we can’t live without milk and dairy products. Unfortunately, even if they were right to some degree, all commercially sold dairy products are highly processed and loaded with dangerous chemicals and antibiotics.

Dairy products are also very high in saturated fats. Saturated fats slow down the lymphatic system, which is responsible for removing toxins from the body.

Food Chemicals and Processed Foods

Chemicals found in processed foods and commercially grown fruits, vegetables and meat can have a detrimental effect on our health. We cannot process chemical additives into nutrients that the body can utilize, so they aren’t able to simply pass through our system “as is.” Only water and cellulose can do that. Therefore, these chemicals get absorbed for an indefinite period of time, delaying digestion and adding extra toxins to our blood, tissues and organs, and extra pounds to our weight. No scientific study exists which has been able to determine the length of time it takes for the human body to eliminate the pounds of chemicals it is carrying around. It is interesting to note that preservatives such as sodium nitrate (found in hot dogs, bacon, ham, and other processed foods) and BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) are stored in our fat cells. 

Sugar

Sugar consumption has risen 1,500 percent in the last 200 years.  Today, the average American consumes 150 pounds of sugar a year compared to the 12 pounds consumed in the early 1800s. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, that is equal to 52 teaspoonfuls of added sugars per person per day. Can you imagine yourself sitting at the kitchen table gobbling down 52 teaspoons of white sugar – every single day? Well, that’s exactly what most people are doing without even realizing it!

It takes approximately 400-500 generations for our bodies to physically adapt to such a drastic change in diet.  For now, we are simply not built to handle it.  Becoming obese is just one of the many side-effects of consuming too many carbohydrates in the form of sugar.

Sugar hinders the body’s immune system and predisposes people to allergies and infections. The number, shape and activity of white blood cells are adversely affected by excessive sugar consumption. Here are just some of the health conditions associated with the over-consumption of sugar: allergies, obesity, eating disorders, eczema, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, kidney stones and failure, learning disabilities, diverticulosis, irritable bowel syndrome, depression, candida, anxiety, hyperactivity in children, dental cavities, adult-onset diabetes, atherosclerosis, and countless others.     

White Flour Products

Flour (especially white flour) is the main component in breads, cereals, baked goods, pastas and many other foods we eat each and every day. White flour is made by stripping the grain of virtually all its nutrients: fiber, vitamins, minerals, essential oils and even proteins, to some extent.

Because white flour becomes a depleted, processed, “dead” food, most states require it to be enriched with thiamin, riboflavin and niacin, plus iron. Other nutrients, however, such as zinc, manganese, folic acid, Vitamin B6 and fiber are not replenished in any way.

White flour and white flour products often contribute to constipation and other digestive troubles. Since they are stripped of all fiber (essential for proper elimination), they actually stick to the walls of the intestines, causing blockages, rather than helping things move through quickly and smoothly. A highly important first step in modifying one’s diet, regardless of health condition, is to eliminate or minimize white flour and white flour products from the diet. White rice goes through essentially the same process as white flour and should also be avoided. All the fiber and nutrients are stripped off each grain to give rice its pretty white color and reduced cooking time.

Aspartame (and other artificial sweeteners)

Aspartame is, by far, the most dangerous substance on the market that is added to foods. Aspartame accounts for over 75 percent of the adverse reactions to food additives reported to the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Many of these reactions are very serious including seizures and death as recently disclosed in a February 1994 Department of Health and Human Services report.

A few of the 90 different documented symptoms listed in the report as being caused by aspartame include: headaches/migraines, dizziness, seizures, nausea, numbness, muscle spasms, weight gain, rashes, depression, fatigue, irritability, tachycardia, insomnia, vision problems, hearing loss, heart palpitations, breathing difficulties, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, loss of taste, tinnitus, vertigo, memory loss, and joint pain.

Soft Drinks

The average American drinks an estimated 57 gallons (216 liters) of soft drinks each year. The fact that soft drinks are made with tap water is only the tip of the iceberg. Each can of soda has about 10 teaspoons of sugar, 150 calories, 30 to 55 mg of caffeine, and is loaded with artificial food colorings, additives, preservatives and sulphites.

In addition, just about all diet soft drinks contain aspartame or other harmful artificial sweeteners. Regular consumption of soft drinks will lead to obesity, osteoporosis, tooth decay and heart disease.

 

 

Alcohol

Alcohol is very damaging to the liver and also depletes important nutrients from the body. In addition, alcoholic beverages contain chemical pesticides, as well as colorants and other harmful additives, putting further strain on the liver.

Animal Protein

The main issue with having any source of animal protein during a detox, is the amount of time that it takes your body to digest them.  Most meat and eggs also contain a large amount of antibiotics and hormones, which are two things we are looking to eliminate from our body during a detox.  The consumption of animal protein is a huge contributor to our poor health, as it escalates the overall level of toxins in the body.

Fish is not a good substitute for chicken, pork or beef.  Fish contains high levels of mercury and most farm-raised fish have the same problem with antibiotics as meat does.

A good way to curb any “protein” craving that you might have is a small handful of raw nuts.

 

Foods to consume while cleansing

Now let’s discuss which foods can enhance cleansing and accelerate the detoxification process.

Organic Raw Fruit

Fruit is rich in fiber and also has a very high water content, making it the ideal accompaniment to a detoxification program. The fiber absorbs toxins and the water helps to flush them out of the body. Fruit is also rich in vitamins, minerals, enzymes, amino acids and fruit pectin, which has been shown to bind with heavy metals, such as lead, helping to eliminate them from the system.
Fruits to consume in abundance while cleansing: lemons, oranges, grapefruits, pears, apples, cherries, grapes, mangoes, pineapples, melons, tomatoes, and papayas. Try to buy fruit that is in season where you live, rather than imported fruit that has been traveling for weeks.

Organic Vegetables

Organic veggies should make up the bulk of a healthy diet, especially while detoxifying. While fruits are known to be very powerful detoxifiers, organic vegetables will help balance acid and alkaline levels and have a calming effect on the body. Vegetable to consume in abundance while cleansing: garlic, onions, carrots, beets, cabbage, watercress, celery, cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower, and lots of green leafy vegetables such as spinach. Again, try to buy veggies that are in season where you live to limit food mile and to eat locally.

Whole Grains

Whole Grains are grains that are unprocessed, retaining most of their nutrients and providing a good source of soluble and insoluble fiber. Wholegrains are an integral part of a healthy, cleansing diet. They are an excellent source of complex carbohydrates, fiber, vitamins, minerals and low-fat source of protein. Grains to consume while cleansing: couscous, and quinoa.

Nuts and Seeds

Nuts and seeds are excellent foods to consume while cleansing. They are good sources of vitamin E, protein, minerals, fiber and essential fatty acids. Nuts can be eaten as an alternative to meat and cheese. During a detox, nuts should be raw and not roasted or salted.  Nuts are known to reduce the risk of stroke, heart disease, cancer and improve hair, skin and nails. Seeds play an important role in supporting the immune system and protecting cells from oxidation.  Nuts and seeds to consume while cleansing: flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, walnuts, almonds, chestnuts, hazelnuts and cashews.

Good Fats

Certain fats, used in moderation, can have therapeutic effects while cleansing. Specifically Olive Oil as it contains valuable essential fatty acids. Please keep in mind that nut and seed oils are best used in cold dishes as heat destroys their delicate flavor and nutritional value. Olive oil is very high in antioxidants, which neutralize cancer-causing free radicals. It is monounsaturated, and thereby lowers LDL (bad) cholesterol without reducing the HDL (good) cholesterol. This results in improved circulation, lowered blood pressure and a lower risk of heart disease. Recent research also indicates that olive oil may be especially effective in preventing both breast cancer and osteoporosis.

It costs a little more but extra virgin olive oil is by far the best option. It is the oil that is made from the first pressing. It has less than one percent acidity, and has the highest nutritional value and the best taste.

Green Tea

Feel free to enjoy a cup of green tea while detoxifying.  If you want to add a sweetener, you can use agave nectar.  Keep away from sugar, or honey during the cleanse.

Here is a simple daily menu to use as an example.

First thing in the morning:

Big glass of water with some lemon in it.

Breakfast:

Blueberry Smoothie – Use the recipe from my July newsletter.

lunch:

big green salad – greens, cucumbers, celery, sprouts, quinoa, seeds, olive oil, (celtic salt and lemon dressing).

Snack:

apple, or handfull of raw nuts (almonds/walnuts/macadamia nuts)

Dinner:

Big salad – just like lunch, or another green smoothie

Drink a lot of water during the day.

Pooped out-itis

Do you suffer from the following symptoms?

1. Lack of exercise.

2. empty calories.

3. nervous tension.

Role model?

Don Wildman can run like a Marine, snowboard like an Olympian, and bike like a Tour de France champion. Not bad for a 75-year-old.

The immediate question regarding Wildman is, of course: How? How is it that while other seventy-five-year-olds are complaining about their hip pain, Wildman is saying things like “I prefer heli-snowboarding because you can get more air off the cornices”? How can a septuagenarian be someone about whom John McEnroe, forty-nine, winner of seventeen grand-slam titles, says, “He reminds me of myself in a way, but he’s on a whole different level”? How, in other words, has Wildman managed to buck the basic rules of human physical existence, in which years lived do seem to have some correlation to whether a senior citizen will opt out of, say, paragliding from the top of Aspen Mountain?

How does he do it?

While it’s true that one of Wildman’s adages is “When you stop moving, it’s all over,” and that his diet is low on meat, fat, junk food, and alcohol, and that he takes about fourteen different supplements a day, basic high-quality stuff such as calcium, vitamin C, B complex, CoQ-10, and hyaluronic acid, and that he swears by glucosamine for his knees, Thai massage for recovery, and a little-known technique called “prolotherapy” to shore up his ligaments — while all of this is true and helps him avoid unnecessary deterioration, none of it really explains how, at the three-quarter-century mark, Wildman is keeping pace with pro athletes decades younger than he is, guys like Hamilton, or Chelios, one of the toughest players in the NHL.

Some words of wisdom….

“When you’re around young people, they think they’re gonna live forever — and it’s contagious,” he’d said. “Rebecca always says I never hang out with people my own age, and I say, ‘Yeah! Because they’re so friggin’ negative!’ “

Forget about Mike, I wanna be like Don Wildman